사실은 보고싶은데... Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Sunday, November 29, 2009 at 6:50 PM, in

I thought i saw you today...I really do...I was working at that time,and i don't want you to see me in my uniform...But it turns out not to be you. I didn't notice the guy at first,but when i look around,i saw that guy that looks like you,and that guy was looking at me too~ But then he continue talking to his friend.. I was a bit shocked at first,cuz he looks so much like you. How on earth can two different people look so alike??? Those eyes that i once fell deeply for,the nose,the mouth,the hairstyle,and even the height..How can they be so alike???? How???? Why??? The only difference,is the hair color,the necklace he's wearing and the talking style.. Other than that,he would be a perfect second you. I tried to ignore the fact,but actually i was freaking out. I was nervous,and my mind immediately went blank... But,i just couldn't. I pretended to squat down and drink water,but actually i was trying to make sure that is that guy really you?? I listen quietly the way you talk.. Yes,he's definitely not you. The way he talks,it's just so not you.And you wouldn't wear that ugly looking gold necklace. I'm not sure about the hair color that is in yellowish gold,but i think you prefer natural hair color right??

The memory that i have buried into the deepest part,safely locked, suddenly just came bursting out just because of this guy who looks like you that came from nowhere...I thought i covered it up well..I really do.. I thought i have numb my feelings for you,i thought i already forgotten those days,and i thought i was able to wish you happiness.But, i guess you really hit me hard eh?? The song,the sms,the chocolates,the photos,the words that you wrote on my book...I still couldn't forget it... It stings my heart when i saw the photo of you and your girlfriend on fb, and i even had to pretend to wish you two stay sweet... Do you know how much i hate you that time... Holding on to those words you had written,it seems like you were making a fool out of me. maybe you are just a play boy after all... A stupid girl who fell head and heels over you at that time,even compared your ranking with my TVfXQ..You probably thought that " It's no loss for me to play a little game~" Is it?? Luckily i wasn't the cashier when that guy came and pay... Seeing the back of that guy leaving,i suddenly have the urge to stop him and ask.But my will pull me back to reality..I can't...

I just continue my work silently..Kept quiet till i reach home... Shed tears when i listen to 'TTL(Time To Love)' by T-ara and ChoShinSeung...Cried when i heard 'Stand By U' by TVfXQ,and crying hard when i listen to K.Will's 'Miss Miss Miss'. I couldn't hold back any longer.. Truthfully,i still miss you...I miss you alot...I felt so stupid to still have feelings for you. I shouldn't have. You have a girlfriend now. What am i?? But still, you are the 1st to have me had this kind of feelings..I would not call that love,maybe it is just the gap between love and like..Perhaps an infatuation??? I was probably feeling lonely during that time too,since that was the first time for me to stay away from home so far...You tricked my feelings,i thought i've let it go..But today only i realize that i'm still hoping for you....

TTL & TTL listen 2...
사실은 보고싶은데
Actually, I want to see you
미치도록 너를 보고싶은데
I miss you like crazy
한없이 널 기다려
I wait for you forever
결국 너를 기다려
In the end, I wait for you
혹시하고 멈춰서 제자리를 맴도네
I stop to wonder
I'm going around in circles

좋은 사람 너는 내게 첫사랑
Good person, you're my first love
사랑을 가르쳐준 사람
The person who taught me love
Never forget you
I remember you
기억해 너 하나만
I remember only you

2. 날 바라보던 너의 그 눈빛
That gaze of yours looking at me,
널 놓친 난 정말 stupid
losing you I´m really stupid
이미 가슴에 꽂힌
큐핏 화살도 뽑아 버렸어
I even pulled Cupid´s arrow out from my heart
난 정말 바보지
I´m really foolish
쓸데없는 자존심 세우다 못해
I couldn´t swallow my useless pride
맘에도 없는 바보같은 말로 딱 잘라서
너를 보냈어
Like a fool without feelings, I refused to talk and I send you off
이렇게 떠나 하루하루 어쩌나
Leaving like this, how to go on everyday?