A tiring Christmas eve~~ Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Thursday, December 24, 2009 at 9:51 PM, in

fu~~ Woke up at 7 something today,bathed and get ready for today's outing. gahh~~ it's my off day but i STILL have to wake up so damn early..and i even had a severe stomachache at 4 this morning after taking the cleanx tea my mum gave me yesterday~ Nevertheless,i got my make up done,and we're set to go~~

I thought we're going straight to The Curve,but my mum changed her mind.So instead of going to The Curve first,we headed towards 1 Utama. Before that,we had breakfast together at a coffee shop. Since my brother and i wore white colored tee shirt,we had to be extremely careful because we ordered 'wan tan mee'...You must be thinking why on earth did these two idiots ordered 'wan tan mee' when they're wearing white tee shirts?? hahahah~ It's because we don't eat beef,don't feel like eating pork balls and don't want to eat spicy food TODAY~~ kakaxx....I was extra and extremely careful while eating the mee,but still,i got a teeny weeny soy sauce stain on my shirt near the button~ Ish..

We arrived at 1U at about 9.30pm,and dad went off to work after dropping us there. Shops were doing their cleaning and preparation at that time.. It was still early,so there is not much to see at that time.So i decided to go to Old Town and pay ah zhu a visit~ ^^ But we don't even know where were we..Are we at the new wing?? Or old wing??? We went and ask the reception,thinking that we are at the old wing.But we are actually at the new wing already... Aigoo~~~ So Old Town Signature is at the ground floor..Luckily,ah zhu was there~ haha..I saw Maung Than Aye too!!!! He's smiling alot now..Cuz he is finally free from 'mother'~ hahahahhah~ Beside Old Town is Etude House..Oh my god~~ if i'm working there i think i'll be going to Etude House every time i finish work..hahahah~ But when we went in there,the staffs are not wearing any make-up at all..Gosh,that gave me a shock~ and AHH!!!!! Code B mascara!!!! I ask the staff when was it launched,and she said last week~~ ISH... If it was launched earlier then i wouldn't have to buy TFS mascara..The mascara is black enough,but a bit sticky and clumpy~~ I would have to say,TFS mascara is good but not black enough. As for Etude House,maybe i have to buy one and try first~ I dare not to buy too many things at Etude House cuz some times,the things just seems to toy-ish.. Anyway, we went round and round and round and round in 1U until we don't know whether we are at the new wing or old wing.. Actually,we went both.. hahahah~

We had lunch at Little Taiwan as i strongly recommended it to my mum~ I really really like their Bubble red tea..It's smooth and has a very nice fragrance~ I had 'tang tang mee' lunch set,my mum ordered 'claypot lou shu fan' lunch set and my bro ate 'honey coated fried chicken rice'(something like that..i forgot the name~~) Then we passed by Old Town and poof~~ haha~ I saw my ah gor Wai Loon there...Greeted him,and then we continued shopping~ Finally,after turning a few hundred times in 1U,we finally found ROMP,and my brother bought 2 tee shirts. I wanted to buy the SMILEY tee at Giordano,but all the tees were too weird looking... I just want one that's normal and same as Jaejoong's~ But..haizz....Forget it~

Then my father picked us up in front of Jusco,and we went to The Curve..gahh~~~ nothing to buy there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing i bought,is the shoes that i was forced to buy,cuz my mum insisted on it,and MC Donald ice cream..Thank god we didn't came here first,or else we will be dying from boringness~kakaxx... Of course,after The Curve was IKEA.. Walking along aimlessly,cuz i didn't bought things i wanted today~ Dad has to attend his friend's wedding,so we had to leave early~ Unfortunately,we weren't able to find our car..i thought: Oh my~~ car stolen on christmas eve?? But actually,we were on the wrong floor~ hahahhahaha~
Managed to get home by 7.15pm,and my mum and i got ready to watch out korean drama at 7.25pm...

Then it is boring until now~~~ Anyway,i wish everybody a happy and Merry Christmas!!!
*p/s: i love the STICKY candy!!!!


# at Little Taiwan


# cute and pretty right??

The world..is so cold.... Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Sunday, December 20, 2009 at 7:15 PM, in

It's bone-chilling cold nowadays~ Is it the weather,or the world????? The feeling of coldness,and alone...People giving you a cold look,or a cold shoulder.That cold and helpless feeling, chills down your spine and trembles your heart.... Maybe it is because I work in an environment that needs to have interactions with people,and perhaps that is why i can sense the coldness of the world better than others. It is really really cold these few days...I suffer from enduring the coldness...Brrr~~~

Today is the last day i'll be working together with him,although it just only lasted for 30 minutes..We didn't talk to each other at first,and i thought : Shit~ Today is the last day,maybe we won't see each other again,but we're not talking to each other. Is he mad at me because i didn't want to go and watch movie with him and Jia Chi on his birthday???
Hahahah~ But things cool down when i teased him about finding his wife Jia Chi upstairs...He was kinda upset at first,but he teased me back about Sanish..ahahahah~ Well,maybe he is really sad to leave her...So sad to see them forced to part from each other~ Took some pictures before we left,and that's it. He will be transferred to 1 Utama outlet... Good luck there yahh,my brother Wai Loon..And remember to take care of my friend Fuzai~~ XD
One more thing..Only today i knew that Ken smokes..WHAT THE??!!!! I was so shocked to hear that!! All along i thought he is that kind of obedient guy,is a filial son and a gentlemen. But after knowing that fact that he smokes,and i even saw him smoking in front of me....Gone~ All gone...Image gone...Bye bye...I don't want to see you,nor hear your voice~ 피겨!!!!! Ugh~ Disgusting~~ Why do those around me need to smoke??? Is smoking that nice??? Can't you do something else besides smoking???? Is smoking the only resolution to your stress??? I really hate those who smokes... Sometimes,you are really perfect.But when i got to know that he smokes,BYE~ Totally blacklisted in my life~~ Ish....Smoking really destroy everything,and you smokers,SUCK!!!!!!!!!! Don't be a sucker for heaven's sake!!!! I despise you!!!!!! PUI!!!!!!!!

* I...went to fb and check how HE is doing nowadays..I know i'm stupid...But i just wanted to know if he is doing well....He said he wanted to go back to those days in PLKN,cuz its memorable and enjoying. Yeah,you said that.I once wished for that to happen too~ But now,there's no way to go back to that period of time...You could if you hadn't have her,but...Forget it...There's no turning back~

Booooooooringggggggg~~~~~~ Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Saturday, December 19, 2009 at 10:29 PM, in

Gosh~ It is so boring nowadays~~ My life is just like a walking corpse.. Eat-sleep-wake up-make up-go to college-come back home-watch tv-bath-computer-sleep-work. Ish... Too boring~~ Doesn't make any sense..Maybe i really really really wanted to go to Korea as soon as possible so deadly....Malaysia is too boring,that is what my Ye Ji eonni told me~ *Totally agrees*

Maybe it is near Christmas,or maybe it is near the end of the year~ Christmas alone for 18 years...Pitiful huh?? Eishh~ Perhaps i should get the handsome korean guy's number when i went to Korean Town?? Then maybe i will feel better~ hahhah~ Nevermind,it's over now.. If we are fated to be together,we'll meet again next time.But still,i still felt a little bit of regret. Ye Ji eonni,please ask his number for me!!!! kakaxx.. Christmas is coming soon...Where can i go??? There's no one to celebrate with me.. But my schedule for the last 2 weeks of December is already jammed packed..

Monday - College till 4pm
Tuesday - College till 4pm AGAIN~~~~ sienzz
Wednesday - College till 12.30pm. maybe go Sunway lagoon with relatives.
Thursday - shopping with mum and brother at IKEA & The Curve
Fri,Sat and Sunday - Working

# Next Week
Mon,Tues,Wed - College
Thursday - maybe working~~
Fri,Sat and Sunday - working

then 2009 has passed... What a boring way to welcome year 2010~~

gahh~~ It's really boring!!!!! I have friends who are free,and they're having their semester break..But i~ I still have to attend to college when everyone is suppose to enjoy their holidays.. T_T uwaaaaa~~~ THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!!!! When i'm free,everyone is busy. When i'm busy,everyone is on holiday..How can???? I want to go shopping and play with my friends too~~~ Life is so bland this year.. It should be more fun..Cuz it's my only once in a lifetime 18 years old!!!! But everything seemed to turn out not as expected... Haizz... 2 more weeks,and i'm gonna end my pitiful 18 years old life~ How sad~~ >.< Anyway,i hope year 2010 will be a good year for all of us..Especially to TVXQ oppas~ Please let everything be alright.....Always Keep The Faith!!!!!!!!!!

Jealousy is scary~ Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 2:16 PM, in

haha~ Long time i didn't 'touch' my blog already..I'm not busy,just kinda lazy~ Sometimes i feel like writing,but i was either too angry or sad,then i went to sleep right away~

So,something happened...I thought we will be like brother and sister,but i seemed to care more and more..I felt anxious when he's not there...But now,i know,that's it...No more... Cuz he's aiming for another girl..That is why people always say: When you fell in love once, you will keep on searching for love,because you know that LOVE feels wonderful,and you will be addicted to it.To be loved,and to love someone,that is just something so minor,yet it triggers every cell in your body when you do that. Hahahahaa~

Wan Ching,Bee Lian,Wai Loon,Jia Chi,Sin Hui and i went to korea plaza to celebrate Bee Lian's birthday,which was supposed to be last Thursday...Tried on the hanboks,and we even tried the one for guys...hahahah~ Look like hip hop style..well,Wan Ching and i found out that he had been sms-ing Jia Chi for the past few days..I was abit angry at first,but i know i was the one who rejected him first~ So at the korea plaza,we kept on make chances for the two of them..Hahahaah..perhaps we're too obvious~ Cuz we'd do anything to keep the 2 of them away from us....And secretly planning to dump the 2 of them together~ Kekekekekek... During our lunch at SHIN,we made the two of them sit together,and snapped damn lots of ppictures. Wan Ching and i went of first to buy Wai Loon birthday cake,then Bee Lian and Sin Hui made excuses to the toilet~ But Bee Lian's plan didn't work out,and she had to come back in 10 minutes~ Aigoo...Bee Lian must pick up on acting~ kakakakka~ On my way back to the restaurant,i met my son!!!! kyaa~~ Jit Lun ahh!!! He got a girlfriend,and is way shorter than him..I think the distance is about 3 heads???? And my,he has grown taller!!!!

Then we went to Etude House to buy Bee Lian's birthday present~ Lipgloss..I bought one too.. And went to The Face Shop to shop again~Crazy sale going on there!!!! Bought a mascara and a nail color~~ I wanted to buy the 'migamsu' eye & lips make up remover...hmm~ Maybe later~
Cut the crap,i kinda ignore him on that day~ After all,what isn't supposed to mine,won't be mine. And i even bought TVXQ chips for RM55 for 2 packets,RM 180 for the stupid Pinky mints that i thought it would be a full set..Shit~ and a TVXQ bracelet..Totals up RM254.. I think i'm crazy~~~ No wonder people say : You shop to relieve stress,but after you bought all those stuffs you will feel like dying of regret...Cuz most of them aren't really useful.

Hahahaha~ That's it..I won't answer his calls and invitation to go yumcha again~ Blaks XP

Annoyance causes stress.. Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 10:22 PM, in

Annoyance causes stress...Yes,that is what i want to say to my dad. Shit you daddy!!!! I hate it when you ask me to get ready faster every morning before going to school! How i wish that i could throw vulgar words at you, F*** ing you in every words i could??? Ish~ This is so annoying and irritating..And on tuesday,you came out of the car and shouted at me:"You wanna take bus to school is it??" DAMN!!!! Do you know that i really want to shout at you: " FINE!!! I'll take bus to school!!! Drive your old junk to work and leave without me!!! F*** U!!!!!" Damn it..I was so angry at that time but i just turn the anger in to myself.Why? Cuz i still respect you as my dad. I just grab everything and threw it in my bag,then get into my dad's car.Total silence during the whole journey..True enough,I'm pissed off. Talking to him will just raise my blood pressure and hatred. At first you said we'll depart at 8.45am,later on it became 8.30am...When i start getting used to 8.30am, and suddenly you changed it to 8.15am!!!! Damn you!!!! I need to put on make up and you don't!!! Why can't you just be more considerate?? You just think of yourself!!!! Yeah, some of you will say: Then wake up earlier loh~ Who doesn't know that??? I did,but everytime he says : Be quick!! Shit.. I don't have the mood to put on my make up anymore. Its so annoying,and it is stressful!!! I hate it when people start to control me.

I told my mum about it and she said: "Wake up earlier to put on your make up,then you wouldn't be nagged by your dad every time. You don't want him to lose his job right?? He's working for others,you should be more understanding." But why should i be the only one who is understanding?? Can't he try to be in my shoes for some times?? I talked to my brother,and he answered the same thing as my mum said..Ish,guess AB blood type like me cannot communicate with B blood type..There is no one i can turn to to express my anger.. My best sis left me. Haizz~ Till now i still don't know why she refuse to reply my letters and sms...

My dad,again with his annoying voice,told me to finish my oriental medicine just now. Shit.. I can't stand his voice for the second time,so I immediately rush to the kitchen,drank the damn medicine,and continue to sit in front of my computer.. I don't even want to see his face... It just pressures me a lot. Actually, I don't mean to ignore him,nor hate him. I love him,and i respect him. I guess it is after i found some "things" inside his handphone where it shouldn't exist...Guys, you know what I'm talking about right?? I know it is really common,especially men to have it,but should you at least save it somewhere else that people couldn't find it?? I don't mean to despise him,but i really hate guys,especially married men to have that. You already had a family, a wife and two kids. And still you want to hold on to those disgusting things?? I really hate that... Ugh..And now my mum thinks that he may have an affair.. Oh god..If he really does,I'm gonna hate him for the rest of my life and cut the relationship with him.That's it..I don't want to be related to these shameful things... I told my mum I will migrate to Korea..Listen up,it's migrate,not emigrate.I'm gonna be Korea's resident,not malaysian anymore.. Its up to her to follow me or not,but i think i won't be bringing my dad there. He can't too..He doesn't have a passport. Anyway,I am that kind of people who goes over the extremities..It is either hate or love.. STOP NAGGING ME FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!!!!! i HATE IT!!!! I HATE IT!!! AND DON'T KEEP ON SAYING I'M STUPID!!!!! I KNOW WHEN TO DO THINGS,SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME BE!!!!

괜찮아, 다 끈아서요~ Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , Sunday, November 29, 2009 at 9:42 PM, in

I rang up Wei Sum..I desperately need someone to listen to me... Thanks Wei Sum,for being patient enough to listen to my craps~ Hahahaha.. I felt much better after having a good cry on the phone..Really,you need to cry your heart out in order to forget something that you like... Don't ever think of doing anything stupid to yourself like slitting your wrist,pick up smoking or cutting yourself with the cutter something like that..It won't mean anything... It will just leave you ugly scars...Cry..Its okay....Release those tensions,let go of those feelings... Sometimes humans are just so stubborn that they tend to always keep things to themselves,keeping things that are useless. Crying,would be the best way to relieve those feelings.let go of something that we have been holding on to but are useless.

This will be the last time i'll cry for him...No more...Feelings are gone,I'm gonna continue my extravagant life~ He is just something,that i should have go through,part of my life experience...That's it..No more.. It will be a story,that i will tell my children later,before meeting their daddy [Changmin oppa!!!!] XD

You need to get hurt in order to grow up...Experience,is a valuable lesson that makes you a more matured and knowledgeable person. Learn from it,so you will not repeat the same mistake for the 2nd time. You may regret,but what lies ahead are more important than the past. Letting it go,will be a better way than holding it on,which makes man's life more miserable. Try letting it go,and you will see,it will be a better world. ^^

날 다 줬으니까 나 후횐 없지만
더 해줄 수 없어 가슴 치고만 있잖아

널 사랑한다 널 사랑한다
더이상 니가 곁에 없다는게
아프고 아프고 아프다
아프고 아프고 아파도

그립고 그립고 그립다

* I have no regrets to the fact that i met you...I wish you the best,so wish me the same too... Goodbye~

사실은 보고싶은데... Posted by cAbbaGe May 숙미 , at 6:50 PM, in

I thought i saw you today...I really do...I was working at that time,and i don't want you to see me in my uniform...But it turns out not to be you. I didn't notice the guy at first,but when i look around,i saw that guy that looks like you,and that guy was looking at me too~ But then he continue talking to his friend.. I was a bit shocked at first,cuz he looks so much like you. How on earth can two different people look so alike??? Those eyes that i once fell deeply for,the nose,the mouth,the hairstyle,and even the height..How can they be so alike???? How???? Why??? The only difference,is the hair color,the necklace he's wearing and the talking style.. Other than that,he would be a perfect second you. I tried to ignore the fact,but actually i was freaking out. I was nervous,and my mind immediately went blank... But,i just couldn't. I pretended to squat down and drink water,but actually i was trying to make sure that is that guy really you?? I listen quietly the way you talk.. Yes,he's definitely not you. The way he talks,it's just so not you.And you wouldn't wear that ugly looking gold necklace. I'm not sure about the hair color that is in yellowish gold,but i think you prefer natural hair color right??

The memory that i have buried into the deepest part,safely locked, suddenly just came bursting out just because of this guy who looks like you that came from nowhere...I thought i covered it up well..I really do.. I thought i have numb my feelings for you,i thought i already forgotten those days,and i thought i was able to wish you happiness.But, i guess you really hit me hard eh?? The song,the sms,the chocolates,the photos,the words that you wrote on my book...I still couldn't forget it... It stings my heart when i saw the photo of you and your girlfriend on fb, and i even had to pretend to wish you two stay sweet... Do you know how much i hate you that time... Holding on to those words you had written,it seems like you were making a fool out of me. maybe you are just a play boy after all... A stupid girl who fell head and heels over you at that time,even compared your ranking with my TVfXQ..You probably thought that " It's no loss for me to play a little game~" Is it?? Luckily i wasn't the cashier when that guy came and pay... Seeing the back of that guy leaving,i suddenly have the urge to stop him and ask.But my will pull me back to reality..I can't...

I just continue my work silently..Kept quiet till i reach home... Shed tears when i listen to 'TTL(Time To Love)' by T-ara and ChoShinSeung...Cried when i heard 'Stand By U' by TVfXQ,and crying hard when i listen to K.Will's 'Miss Miss Miss'. I couldn't hold back any longer.. Truthfully,i still miss you...I miss you alot...I felt so stupid to still have feelings for you. I shouldn't have. You have a girlfriend now. What am i?? But still, you are the 1st to have me had this kind of feelings..I would not call that love,maybe it is just the gap between love and like..Perhaps an infatuation??? I was probably feeling lonely during that time too,since that was the first time for me to stay away from home so far...You tricked my feelings,i thought i've let it go..But today only i realize that i'm still hoping for you....

TTL & TTL listen 2...
사실은 보고싶은데
Actually, I want to see you
미치도록 너를 보고싶은데
I miss you like crazy
한없이 널 기다려
I wait for you forever
결국 너를 기다려
In the end, I wait for you
혹시하고 멈춰서 제자리를 맴도네
I stop to wonder
I'm going around in circles

좋은 사람 너는 내게 첫사랑
Good person, you're my first love
사랑을 가르쳐준 사람
The person who taught me love
Never forget you
I remember you
기억해 너 하나만
I remember only you

2. 날 바라보던 너의 그 눈빛
That gaze of yours looking at me,
널 놓친 난 정말 stupid
losing you I´m really stupid
이미 가슴에 꽂힌
큐핏 화살도 뽑아 버렸어
I even pulled Cupid´s arrow out from my heart
난 정말 바보지
I´m really foolish
쓸데없는 자존심 세우다 못해
I couldn´t swallow my useless pride
맘에도 없는 바보같은 말로 딱 잘라서
너를 보냈어
Like a fool without feelings, I refused to talk and I send you off
이렇게 떠나 하루하루 어쩌나
Leaving like this, how to go on everyday?